So I'm getting married (to the man of my dreams), and my brother has been incredibly helpful by providing suggestions as we plan. Just today I received this beauty on gchat:
Chris: OMG. 2 of the greatest ideas I've ever had in my life
Chris: 1- sushi on the rock happy hour rehearsal dinner
Chris: 2- and I can't stress how awesome this idea is, In-n-out truck at the reception!
Haha, thanks Sterling!
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Friday, March 15, 2013
A funny email exchange
A wonderful email thread on preparations for a family lunch over Easter:
From: Mom
To: Tina, Chris
Subject: Lunch
So....
How about sandwiches onSaturday and Cuban (black beans and rice, yuca, plantains, and whatever else - maybe even a dessert for just us for Sunday lunch? Yes? No? If yes, what can we add to make Saturday lunch special? Thought we'd get Cane's again, how about mushrooms or roasted vegetables for those that don't like meat? Also, thoughts on side dishes? Anything else?
-----------------------------------------
From: Tina
To: Mom, Chris
Subject: RE: Lunch
I think sandwiches sound fine. We can make it special by having fancy breads/cheeses/sauces rather than just regular sandwich bread and sliced cheese. I can make a couple of veggie side dishes. How about a pasta salad, a lentil dish, a couscous salad, and some roasted mushrooms?
Love you!!!!
-----------------------------------------
From: Chris
To: Mom, Tina
Subject: RE: Lunch
And a bonfire of money for the center peice!
How about potato chips in a cacophony of flavors?
Also, this cuban thing mentioned, I assume there will be pork (that was a nice way of saying I demand pork, in case I was too subtle)
From: Mom
To: Tina, Chris
Subject: Lunch
So....
How about sandwiches onSaturday and Cuban (black beans and rice, yuca, plantains, and whatever else - maybe even a dessert for just us for Sunday lunch? Yes? No? If yes, what can we add to make Saturday lunch special? Thought we'd get Cane's again, how about mushrooms or roasted vegetables for those that don't like meat? Also, thoughts on side dishes? Anything else?
-----------------------------------------
From: Tina
To: Mom, Chris
Subject: RE: Lunch
I think sandwiches sound fine. We can make it special by having fancy breads/cheeses/sauces rather than just regular sandwich bread and sliced cheese. I can make a couple of veggie side dishes. How about a pasta salad, a lentil dish, a couscous salad, and some roasted mushrooms?
Love you!!!!
-----------------------------------------
From: Chris
To: Mom, Tina
Subject: RE: Lunch
And a bonfire of money for the center peice!
How about potato chips in a cacophony of flavors?
Also, this cuban thing mentioned, I assume there will be pork (that was a nice way of saying I demand pork, in case I was too subtle)
Thursday, February 28, 2013
A few good ones from last month
Chris came out to visit in February, and I only managed to get a few! But here are some of his thoughts on his experience flying Southwest:
Honestly, what's the point of early bird check in? Everyone and their mother is allowed to board before then. Active duty military, old people, kids, THEN early bird check in.
If they had Platinum, THEY would board first too. Not that anyone would ever get Platinum Southwest because Southwest is like Greyhound in the sky.
Our flight attendant was HILARIOUS though. He steps into the middle of the aisle and says, "If you can direct your attention to the center of the aisle, or at least pretend to turn your attention to the center of the aisle, then we can pretend to tell you the safety features of this aircraft."
Honestly, what's the point of early bird check in? Everyone and their mother is allowed to board before then. Active duty military, old people, kids, THEN early bird check in.
If they had Platinum, THEY would board first too. Not that anyone would ever get Platinum Southwest because Southwest is like Greyhound in the sky.
Our flight attendant was HILARIOUS though. He steps into the middle of the aisle and says, "If you can direct your attention to the center of the aisle, or at least pretend to turn your attention to the center of the aisle, then we can pretend to tell you the safety features of this aircraft."
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Friday, May 25, 2012
Just a quick one from a phone call yesterday:
On why he shouldn't be carrying heavy giant boxes to and fro: "Because I have the back of an old lady... with a bad back."
--------------------------------------
And a BRILLIANT email exchange:
From: Me
To: Mom, Dad, Chris
Subject: HAHAHAHA
Speaking of probability and statistics, there is the story of a statistician who told a friend that he never took airplanes: "I have computed the probability that there will be a bomb on the plan," he explained, "and although this probability is low, it is still too high for my comfort." Two weeks later, the friend met the statistician on a plane. "How come you changed your theory?" he asked. "Oh, I didn't change my theory; it's just that I subsequently computed the probability that there would simultaneously be two bombs on a plane. This probability is low enough for my comfort. So now I simply carry my own bomb."
!!!!!!!!!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hope this makes you laugh as much as me. Love you!
Tina
Immediate response from Chris:
From: Chris
To: Me, Mom, Dad
Subject: RE: HAHAHAHA
I hope that was worth landing all of us on the no fly list, Tina...
On why he shouldn't be carrying heavy giant boxes to and fro: "Because I have the back of an old lady... with a bad back."
--------------------------------------
And a BRILLIANT email exchange:
From: Me
To: Mom, Dad, Chris
Subject: HAHAHAHA
Speaking of probability and statistics, there is the story of a statistician who told a friend that he never took airplanes: "I have computed the probability that there will be a bomb on the plan," he explained, "and although this probability is low, it is still too high for my comfort." Two weeks later, the friend met the statistician on a plane. "How come you changed your theory?" he asked. "Oh, I didn't change my theory; it's just that I subsequently computed the probability that there would simultaneously be two bombs on a plane. This probability is low enough for my comfort. So now I simply carry my own bomb."
!!!!!!!!!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hope this makes you laugh as much as me. Love you!
Tina
Immediate response from Chris:
From: Chris
To: Me, Mom, Dad
Subject: RE: HAHAHAHA
I hope that was worth landing all of us on the no fly list, Tina...
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
This set of zingers really requires a bit of background. My brother and I were just in San Francisco doing the tourist thing. Friday was super fun and productive. Saturday was definitely less so. The day started with Barcelona losing the Clasico, which means I was immediately put into an irreversible funk. We spent the day in the Mission district, and finished the evening by walking through the Castro to get to a Cuban restaurant for dinner. This was a decent walk, and it ended with a trek up a decently steep hill. Good Cuban food would compensate for all of this, but unfortunately, we did not find good Cuban food. So of course, zingers galore!
---------------------------------------------------------
Chris (on what he plans to say to the server about our flavorless black beans): We know you have two pots back there, one for the Cuban people, one for the white people. You gave us the wrong one.
---------------------------------------------------------
Chris (in response to my comment that the spices are hard to get right): Tina. Goya. If you're not familiar with the language, it's spelled like it sounds.
---------------------------------------------------------
Chris: This is worse than Taco Bell. At least at Taco Bell you know what you're getting into.
---------------------------------------------------------
Chris: I need to call Mom. This is like my Barcelona. I need someone to walk me through this. Like a sponsor. 'I don't know what I'm going to do next. You have to come and rescue me.'
---------------------------------------------------------
Tina: They do have a Cuban flag in the back.
Chris: There's a 50/50 chance that it was the Puerto Rican flag. 'Guys, it's red, white and blue, and there's a triangle. Go get it.'
---------------------------------------------------------
Chris (pretending to speak to the waiter): Are your mom and dad Cuban?
---------------------------------------------------------
Chris: You want to know the worst thing?--not the worst thing, but the next in line of crappy things--is that I'm stuck here drinking crappy Sangria trying to get over this. I walked up a mountain, through the valley of death, just to get struck down. It's like the Odessey if it had ended in tragedy.
---------------------------------------------------------
Chris: They probably don't realize that the ripe plantains are the gross-looking ones. (pretending to be the waiter in a grocery store:) 'Ew, gross. But those green ones look pretty. Black beans? There's a can. And done. But wait! Cuban people like Sangria. There's a bottle that says Sangria. Google Cuban music, and we're done.'
---------------------------------------------------------
Chris: Tina, look. It's a Buddha head. On a stick. It's our God.
---------------------------------------------------------
Chris (on what he plans to say to the server about our flavorless black beans): We know you have two pots back there, one for the Cuban people, one for the white people. You gave us the wrong one.
---------------------------------------------------------
Chris (in response to my comment that the spices are hard to get right): Tina. Goya. If you're not familiar with the language, it's spelled like it sounds.
---------------------------------------------------------
Chris: This is worse than Taco Bell. At least at Taco Bell you know what you're getting into.
---------------------------------------------------------
Chris: I need to call Mom. This is like my Barcelona. I need someone to walk me through this. Like a sponsor. 'I don't know what I'm going to do next. You have to come and rescue me.'
---------------------------------------------------------
Tina: They do have a Cuban flag in the back.
Chris: There's a 50/50 chance that it was the Puerto Rican flag. 'Guys, it's red, white and blue, and there's a triangle. Go get it.'
---------------------------------------------------------
Chris (pretending to speak to the waiter): Are your mom and dad Cuban?
---------------------------------------------------------
Chris: You want to know the worst thing?--not the worst thing, but the next in line of crappy things--is that I'm stuck here drinking crappy Sangria trying to get over this. I walked up a mountain, through the valley of death, just to get struck down. It's like the Odessey if it had ended in tragedy.
---------------------------------------------------------
Chris: They probably don't realize that the ripe plantains are the gross-looking ones. (pretending to be the waiter in a grocery store:) 'Ew, gross. But those green ones look pretty. Black beans? There's a can. And done. But wait! Cuban people like Sangria. There's a bottle that says Sangria. Google Cuban music, and we're done.'
---------------------------------------------------------
Chris: Tina, look. It's a Buddha head. On a stick. It's our God.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Some older zingers
Just went to Europe a few months back and Chris of course had some wonderful zingers. But I wrote them down in the same travel journal as our last European vacation, and realized that there was a killer zinger that I had never posted! Plus I've gotten a few since then. So now we get a lot at once!
2003 Trip
So some background. We started the trip by taking a voluntary bump, which meant that each of us got $500 as extra spending money. Nice deal. Unfortunately, we started our trip in France, which was in the midst of one of their never-ending strikes. This resulted in us missing trains and being forced to sleep in train stations and in general just having a bad go of it. We finally made it out and went to Spain followed by Italy. At this point we were obviously tired and considered just spending the rest of our trip in Italy rather than going to Switzerland as planned.
Chris: No. You did not drag me across the Atlantic Ocean and put me through France to spend the rest of my vacation in Italy. When we get to Switzerland I'm spending my $500 on the biggest damn piece of chocolate I can find and a chisel.
2011 Trip
Me: Mom, all of your pictures make me look fat.
Mom: Oh please. I'm not even entertaining this discussion.
Chris: Pictures don't lie, Tina.
------------------------------------------------------------
On potentially changing vacation plans for the remainder of our trip:
Chris: You can't just reschedule the vacation without doing any research. That's how you end up in Malta in this hotel.
------------------------------------------------------------
On why we should meet up with the padres even though we don't have anything planned on the agenda:
Chris: We need to meet you guys so you can buy us breakfast.
------------------------------------------------------------
Chris: Boy, you can tell which of us look like locals and which of us look like tourists. When Tina and I went up to Communion, we get this Maltese gibberish. When you and Mom went up, he took one look at you and said "The Body of Christ".
Dad: He said that to everyone!
Chris: Don't lump me in with you, Dad. I got gibberish.
------------------------------------------------------------
Commentary on the other pool guests at our hotel in Malta (who were on the large side):
Chris: I never thought that we'd come to Malta and get to do some whale watching.
Tina: *just starts cracking up*
Chris: No joke, we should put up signs that say "Whale watching" with arrows, and charge 10 Euros per person. We'd be rich.
Some another random zinger from a trip to Bongo's in Disney World:
Dad (to a waiter): Do you have Iron Beer? (pronounced E-ron bay)
Server: *looks confused*
Mom: Si tiene Iron Beer? (pronounced correctly)
Server: Sí.
Dad: Don't they pronounce it Iron Beer? (pronounced as above)
Mom: Yes. Only Americans pronounce in Iron Beer. (pronounced in English)
Chris: I'm sorry Mom, I forget. Where are we?
Mom: As a Cuban restaurant.
Chris: In America.
Mom: But a Cuban restaurant.
Chris: Is that how this works? Every time we go to an Italian restaurant, do you think we're in Italy? Because we could save a lot of money on airfare this summer if we just went to Olive Garden.
Dad: Because, you know, we are in the "Happiest Place on Earth".
Chris: No Dad, we're in Cuba, remember?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)