Just went to Europe a few months back and Chris of course had some wonderful zingers. But I wrote them down in the same travel journal as our last European vacation, and realized that there was a killer zinger that I had never posted! Plus I've gotten a few since then. So now we get a lot at once!
2003 Trip
So some background. We started the trip by taking a voluntary bump, which meant that each of us got $500 as extra spending money. Nice deal. Unfortunately, we started our trip in France, which was in the midst of one of their never-ending strikes. This resulted in us missing trains and being forced to sleep in train stations and in general just having a bad go of it. We finally made it out and went to Spain followed by Italy. At this point we were obviously tired and considered just spending the rest of our trip in Italy rather than going to Switzerland as planned.
Chris: No. You did not drag me across the Atlantic Ocean and put me through France to spend the rest of my vacation in Italy. When we get to Switzerland I'm spending my $500 on the biggest damn piece of chocolate I can find and a chisel.
2011 Trip
Me: Mom, all of your pictures make me look fat.
Mom: Oh please. I'm not even entertaining this discussion.
Chris: Pictures don't lie, Tina.
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On potentially changing vacation plans for the remainder of our trip:
Chris: You can't just reschedule the vacation without doing any research. That's how you end up in Malta in this hotel.
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On why we should meet up with the padres even though we don't have anything planned on the agenda:
Chris: We need to meet you guys so you can buy us breakfast.
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Chris: Boy, you can tell which of us look like locals and which of us look like tourists. When Tina and I went up to Communion, we get this Maltese gibberish. When you and Mom went up, he took one look at you and said "The Body of Christ".
Dad: He said that to everyone!
Chris: Don't lump me in with you, Dad. I got gibberish.
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Commentary on the other pool guests at our hotel in Malta (who were on the large side):
Chris: I never thought that we'd come to Malta and get to do some whale watching.
Tina: *just starts cracking up*
Chris: No joke, we should put up signs that say "Whale watching" with arrows, and charge 10 Euros per person. We'd be rich.
Some another random zinger from a trip to Bongo's in Disney World:
Dad (to a waiter): Do you have Iron Beer? (pronounced E-ron bay)
Server: *looks confused*
Mom: Si tiene Iron Beer? (pronounced correctly)
Server: Sí.
Dad: Don't they pronounce it Iron Beer? (pronounced as above)
Mom: Yes. Only Americans pronounce in Iron Beer. (pronounced in English)
Chris: I'm sorry Mom, I forget. Where are we?
Mom: As a Cuban restaurant.
Chris: In America.
Mom: But a Cuban restaurant.
Chris: Is that how this works? Every time we go to an Italian restaurant, do you think we're in Italy? Because we could save a lot of money on airfare this summer if we just went to Olive Garden.
Dad: Because, you know, we are in the "Happiest Place on Earth".
Chris: No Dad, we're in Cuba, remember?
