So I'm planning on buying a house...

And I decided to tell my brother about it as we were on the phone this evening. Hilarity ensues:

Me: Hey, did Mom tell you that I'm looking at buying a house?
Chris: What? No.
Me: Yeah, interest rates and housing prices are low, so since I'm staying in the area I thought now would be a good time.
Chris: Sounds good to me. So you're not looking at houses in your neighborhood?
Me: No, I am, I'd like to stay in the area.
Chris: I thought Mom had told me that houses are super expensive around there.
Me: There's a range. There's a house on my street that's on the market for 800, but some of the smaller houses are more in my price range. They're only around 600 square feet, so smaller than your apartment, but still.
Chris: 600 square feet?!?!?! That's not a house! That's not even a shed!
Me: Well it's twice as large as my apartment now, so it would seem like a palace to me.
Chris: You can't even call that a house! That's like me saying I have an eagle when all I have is Arvin [our peach-faced lovebird].
Me: Sterling, it's not like I need that much space.
Chris: Well that's good because you won't have any. I thought you would need a ton of space for your eight kids.
Me: I'm not staying in this house forever. God-willing I'll get married and have kids, but that's years down the road. When it becomes an issue I'd just sell this house and buy a bigger one.
Chris: A) That's not a house. I thought we had established this fact.
Me: Oh yeah, I forgot that you don't consider my future house to be a real house.
Chris: That's been the essential premise of this entire conversation. I'm going to think all day tomorrow about what we can call it. Right now, it's like: 'poodle is to dog as your place is to house.'
Me: Sterling, a poodle is a dog.
Chris: Not a real one! It's the pathetic dog that everyone laughs at! Gosh Tina, be logical.
Me: I am logical! Which one of us is the mathematician?
Chris: Apparently ME! I'm the only one who realizes that 600 square feet is not a house.