Wow I haven't updated in forever...

But I'm home with my family for Thanksgiving, and tonight we went out to watch 'Enchanted" so there were zingers galore after so many hours with my brother. Here are the highlights.

Chris: At Razin' Kanes, oh god, all of those prostitots
Dad: Prosti-whats?
Chris: Prostitots. If you're not old enough to be a prostitute you're a prostitot.

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Me: I'm pretty sure every family in America has assigned seating in the car.
Mom: We never did.
Chris: That's because you're family is freaking huge.
Mom: We'd always say "I call the window!"
Chris: That's a great story Mom. Really. Can you say it again? Do you have enough time?

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Dad: Just think. Next year you two may be flying in for Thanksgiving.
Me: Or maybe not. Maybe we'll stay out in San Diego.
Chris: Yeah, you know they'd come to us. 'Mom, we're not coming home for Thanksgiving.' 'That's okay, we'll be right there.' And she'll show up with a care package because she doesn't think we can feed ourselves.
Mom: Maybe not. Maybe I won't come.
Me: Yeah Mom, sure.
Chris: Seriously Mom, who are you punishing there?

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After 'Enchanted'

Me: I thought it was great.
Mom: It was really cute. What did you think Mike?
Dad: I thought it was cute, probably not the best movie I've seen this year...
Chris: Or Ever. Any move is better than that. This movie, American Gangster is better than that, the Mr. Whatever Christmas Movie is better than that, I can't believe I'm about to say this, but Bee Movie is probably better than that. You want to know why? Because it will probably have a plot twist that you don't actually see coming.

Grand Cayman- Day 7

There have been tons since I last posted, but I haven't been able to remember them. Here's one from just a second ago.

Me: Caribbean water means water from the Caribbean ocean. Just because you don't know that doesn't mean it's not true.
Chris: Be quiet or I'll strangle you with a shoelace.
Me: Haha! I have to go put that on the blog.
Chris: You're simple.
Me: I take that as a compliment.
Chris: A simple person would.

Grand Cayman- Day 3: Sunset Sail

On tomorrow's trip to Stingray City:
Mom: We're going to where they conjugate.
Everyone: ???
Me: You conjugate a verb, Mom.
Mom: Well the place where the snorkelers go to swim with them.
Me: Where they congregate.
Mom: Yeah, that. We'll be diving, so we won't be in the area where you can feed them by hand.
Chris: Good, that's dangerous. They killed someone, Mom. He was a celebrity and they stabbed him in the heart.
Dad: So we're living on the wild side.
Chris: Seriously. This is like soaking your hand hamburger and punching a lion in the mouth Then trying to see if you can get your hand back. That's how dangerous this is.

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Me: Sterling, as an alcohol connoisseur, aka frat boy, is there any truth to the whole 'getting drunker when drinking through a straw' thing?
Chris: Yes.
Me: Really?
Chris: Well, let me just say, 'Empirical evidence point to the veracity of that statement.'

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(After hitting a couple of crabs on the drive back)
Dad: I was trying to miss that one!
Chris: Well you're doing a piss-poor job! You would have been better staying where you were. ... I think you got an arm there.
Dad: If they would just cross in front of the lights they would be a lot easier to avoid...
Chris: But instead they cross under your tires.
Mom: I'm not going to eat crab on this island.
Chris: Because obviously the locals come and pick up the road kill to serve it to unsuspecting tourists.
Mom: No, but you don't see any flattened crabs during the daylight.
Chris: Of course, that's because the poor local children come and take them for sustenance.

Grand Cayman- Day 3

Dad: We didn't bring our video cameras!
Chris: Seriously? When was the last time you guys watched videos from one of our vacations?
Mom: Arizona.
Dad: Right after we got back.
Chris: Yeah, and what did you watch videos of...?
Dad: Rocks.
Chris: Exactly. Rocks.
Mom: I watched pictures of you with your Hello Kitty walking thing.
Chris: Excuse me?
Mom: Your walker.
Chris: Hello Kitty?
Me: Mom, Hello Kitty wasn't around when Chris and I were kids.
Chris: And, it's for girls. I had a man's walker.

Grand Cayman- Day 2

Man, there were a lot today, unfortunately, I can't really remember all of them. I'm going to do my best though.

Mom: Tina, I think we'll get back before 6, so you can make the Happy Hour.
Me: Don't worry, if we miss the one at the pool, the one on the veranda is from 6-8.
Chris: That's a four-hour Happy Hour. Time practically stops.


Chris (looking at a woman dressed in a bikini who really shouldn't be): She needs to put on a shirt... and a pair of pants... and go inside.

Grand Cayman- Day 1

Me (to Padres): Hey, if you two are plastered, can I drive then?

Dad: Not gonna happen.

Chris: Oh, you mean if Dad has a drink and Mom looks at it?

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Mom is driving back from dinner our first night, and keeps seeing these very large crabs in the middle of the road.

Chris: Mom, just remember, if it comes down to us or them, choose us.

So when Mom literally starts swerving around the road to avoid several crabs scattered in all directions,

Me: AAAHHH!!!!!

Chris: Us! Us! …

And later when she swerves due to a cat crossing the road,

Chris: US!!!

Finally, as we make our way back into the resort,

Chris: We’re going to have to wash the tires off as soon as we get back. That was a blood-bath.

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Chris (getting ready to go to sleep in his regular twin bed): This bed is like a coffin.

Me: Haha! I was about to go to sleep, but now I have to put that on your blog.

Chris: MOM!!!!!!!!