So I just went home for a high school graduation and a bar mitzvah, and as usual my brother was in fine form. I meant to keep a pad of paper and pencil with me at all times, but forgot and so only managed to get these. However, never fear! The next family scuba vacation to Bonaire is coming up in two months and no doubt there will be zingers galore!
Me: So I smuggled in toothpaste and my tennis racket. Did you know that TSA considers that a weapon?
Chris: Are you kidding? A tennis racket weighs nothing.
Me: Yeah, but it would really hurt if you hit someone with it.
Chris: So would a bag! So would a computer!
Me: I think the outside edge of a tennis racket would hurt more than a computer.
Chris: A computer has an edge too, you know. What if you had a CD in? I could take it out, snap it in half, and slit your throat. I think all technology should be banned. Have you seen 'Transformers'? It could be alive.
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David: What's your website?
Me: chris-zingers.blogspot.com
Chris: .gov. I work for the NSA
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(At Josh's party, there were servers roaming around offering delicious little appetizers. After noting that the servers didn't come to where we (Chris, my dad, and I) were standing, Chris hypothesized about the reason.)
Chris: He saw you coming, Dad.
(As waiter) 'Wow, they're already eight deep, better stay away.'
You know they're going to bring the munchie food later. Ten o'clock rolls around and they bring out platters of cheetos.
(As waiter) 'Cheetos?'
(As inebriated guest) 'YES! Definitely.'
(As waiter) 'Trail Mix?'
(As inebriated guest) 'OOOOHHH!!!! Trail mix is where it's AT!'.
Monday, June 8, 2009
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