There have been tons since I last posted, but I haven't been able to remember them. Here's one from just a second ago.
Me: Caribbean water means water from the Caribbean ocean. Just because you don't know that doesn't mean it's not true.
Chris: Be quiet or I'll strangle you with a shoelace.
Me: Haha! I have to go put that on the blog.
Chris: You're simple.
Me: I take that as a compliment.
Chris: A simple person would.
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
Grand Cayman- Day 3: Sunset Sail
On tomorrow's trip to Stingray City:
Mom: We're going to where they conjugate.
Everyone: ???
Me: You conjugate a verb, Mom.
Mom: Well the place where the snorkelers go to swim with them.
Me: Where they congregate.
Mom: Yeah, that. We'll be diving, so we won't be in the area where you can feed them by hand.
Chris: Good, that's dangerous. They killed someone, Mom. He was a celebrity and they stabbed him in the heart.
Dad: So we're living on the wild side.
Chris: Seriously. This is like soaking your hand hamburger and punching a lion in the mouth Then trying to see if you can get your hand back. That's how dangerous this is.
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Me: Sterling, as an alcohol connoisseur, aka frat boy, is there any truth to the whole 'getting drunker when drinking through a straw' thing?
Chris: Yes.
Me: Really?
Chris: Well, let me just say, 'Empirical evidence point to the veracity of that statement.'
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(After hitting a couple of crabs on the drive back)
Dad: I was trying to miss that one!
Chris: Well you're doing a piss-poor job! You would have been better staying where you were. ... I think you got an arm there.
Dad: If they would just cross in front of the lights they would be a lot easier to avoid...
Chris: But instead they cross under your tires.
Mom: I'm not going to eat crab on this island.
Chris: Because obviously the locals come and pick up the road kill to serve it to unsuspecting tourists.
Mom: No, but you don't see any flattened crabs during the daylight.
Chris: Of course, that's because the poor local children come and take them for sustenance.
Mom: We're going to where they conjugate.
Everyone: ???
Me: You conjugate a verb, Mom.
Mom: Well the place where the snorkelers go to swim with them.
Me: Where they congregate.
Mom: Yeah, that. We'll be diving, so we won't be in the area where you can feed them by hand.
Chris: Good, that's dangerous. They killed someone, Mom. He was a celebrity and they stabbed him in the heart.
Dad: So we're living on the wild side.
Chris: Seriously. This is like soaking your hand hamburger and punching a lion in the mouth Then trying to see if you can get your hand back. That's how dangerous this is.
------------------------------------------------
Me: Sterling, as an alcohol connoisseur, aka frat boy, is there any truth to the whole 'getting drunker when drinking through a straw' thing?
Chris: Yes.
Me: Really?
Chris: Well, let me just say, 'Empirical evidence point to the veracity of that statement.'
------------------------------------------------
(After hitting a couple of crabs on the drive back)
Dad: I was trying to miss that one!
Chris: Well you're doing a piss-poor job! You would have been better staying where you were. ... I think you got an arm there.
Dad: If they would just cross in front of the lights they would be a lot easier to avoid...
Chris: But instead they cross under your tires.
Mom: I'm not going to eat crab on this island.
Chris: Because obviously the locals come and pick up the road kill to serve it to unsuspecting tourists.
Mom: No, but you don't see any flattened crabs during the daylight.
Chris: Of course, that's because the poor local children come and take them for sustenance.
Grand Cayman- Day 3
Dad: We didn't bring our video cameras!
Chris: Seriously? When was the last time you guys watched videos from one of our vacations?
Mom: Arizona.
Dad: Right after we got back.
Chris: Yeah, and what did you watch videos of...?
Dad: Rocks.
Chris: Exactly. Rocks.
Mom: I watched pictures of you with your Hello Kitty walking thing.
Chris: Excuse me?
Mom: Your walker.
Chris: Hello Kitty?
Me: Mom, Hello Kitty wasn't around when Chris and I were kids.
Chris: And, it's for girls. I had a man's walker.
Chris: Seriously? When was the last time you guys watched videos from one of our vacations?
Mom: Arizona.
Dad: Right after we got back.
Chris: Yeah, and what did you watch videos of...?
Dad: Rocks.
Chris: Exactly. Rocks.
Mom: I watched pictures of you with your Hello Kitty walking thing.
Chris: Excuse me?
Mom: Your walker.
Chris: Hello Kitty?
Me: Mom, Hello Kitty wasn't around when Chris and I were kids.
Chris: And, it's for girls. I had a man's walker.
Monday, August 6, 2007
Grand Cayman- Day 2
Man, there were a lot today, unfortunately, I can't really remember all of them. I'm going to do my best though.
Mom: Tina, I think we'll get back before 6, so you can make the Happy Hour.
Me: Don't worry, if we miss the one at the pool, the one on the veranda is from 6-8.
Chris: That's a four-hour Happy Hour. Time practically stops.
Chris (looking at a woman dressed in a bikini who really shouldn't be): She needs to put on a shirt... and a pair of pants... and go inside.
Mom: Tina, I think we'll get back before 6, so you can make the Happy Hour.
Me: Don't worry, if we miss the one at the pool, the one on the veranda is from 6-8.
Chris: That's a four-hour Happy Hour. Time practically stops.
Chris (looking at a woman dressed in a bikini who really shouldn't be): She needs to put on a shirt... and a pair of pants... and go inside.
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Grand Cayman- Day 1
Me (to Padres): Hey, if you two are plastered, can I drive then?
Dad: Not gonna happen.
Chris: Oh, you mean if Dad has a drink and Mom looks at it?
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Mom is driving back from dinner our first night, and keeps seeing these very large crabs in the middle of the road.
Chris: Mom, just remember, if it comes down to us or them, choose us.
So when Mom literally starts swerving around the road to avoid several crabs scattered in all directions,
Me: AAAHHH!!!!!
Chris: Us! Us! …
And later when she swerves due to a cat crossing the road,
Chris: US!!!
Finally, as we make our way back into the resort,
Chris: We’re going to have to wash the tires off as soon as we get back. That was a blood-bath.
----------------------------------Chris (getting ready to go to sleep in his regular twin bed): This bed is like a coffin.
Me: Haha! I was about to go to sleep, but now I have to put that on your blog.
Chris: MOM!!!!!!!!
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