Anyone ever heard of "hashing"? I hadn't, but apparently it's an organized run followed by drinking. Anyway, Chris had his first (and last) hashing experience today, and in the recollection of the experience, I got quite a few awesome zingers. The entire conversation was pure gold, but I unfortunately wasn't able to record it. But here's what I managed to get down.
Chris: It was awful. It was the worst time I have ever had. Right in the middle I just wanted to cry. I was like, "You know what would make this better? A good long cry." Of course I probably couldn't cry because I didn't have any water left in my body.
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Chris: And to make matters worse there were a ton of gnats suicide bombing my eyes.
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Chris: And after it was all over, all I wanted to do was go home and wallow in my misery. But my friends were like, "We're going to go out tonight." And I'm like "No. We're not. We're exhausted." But they wanted to go, so we walked to Mike's, had a beer and walked back. And I'm just thinking, "I just paid four dollars for a beer. We had beer at the apartment! We could have been at home, had a beer, and NOT walked all the way to Mikes. I've been walking for hours already today."
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Chris: And they [the hashing course/organizers] have these stupid rules, like frats. And one of them is, if you have new shoes, then you have to drink out of them. And so I was wearing my tennis shoes, which I've had for like a year, but really only use for tennis. So they're pretty clean. And they're asking me, "Are those new shoes?" And I say, "no, they're just clean. And you are not going to punish me for having clean shoes." If they wanted me to drink out of them, I would respond with, "A, No. B, Hell No. And C, I don't want my shoes wet with beer!"
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