Me (to Padres): Hey, if you two are plastered, can I drive then?
Dad: Not gonna happen.
Chris: Oh, you mean if Dad has a drink and Mom looks at it?
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Mom is driving back from dinner our first night, and keeps seeing these very large crabs in the middle of the road.
Chris: Mom, just remember, if it comes down to us or them, choose us.
So when Mom literally starts swerving around the road to avoid several crabs scattered in all directions,
Me: AAAHHH!!!!!
Chris: Us! Us! …
And later when she swerves due to a cat crossing the road,
Chris: US!!!
Finally, as we make our way back into the resort,
Chris: We’re going to have to wash the tires off as soon as we get back. That was a blood-bath.
----------------------------------Chris (getting ready to go to sleep in his regular twin bed): This bed is like a coffin.
Me: Haha! I was about to go to sleep, but now I have to put that on your blog.
Chris: MOM!!!!!!!!
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